I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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