I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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