I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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