scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
