she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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