how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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