I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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