I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
