covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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