I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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