isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
