marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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