I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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