i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
