I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
