My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
