you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
