you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
