he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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