great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
