Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
handjob tips. give me some.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
