This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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