yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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