There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
