***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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