i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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