so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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