Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
