By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
2020 sucks, I want a refund
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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