Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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