u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
