I wanna bring you to show and tell
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
