dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
