Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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