come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You ate ashes out of my bong
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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