i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
