Porn is love you can see.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
