you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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