fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize