So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
