I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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