i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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