I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
how drunk are you?
Several
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
