I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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