Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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