Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
