i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize