What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
