just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
