Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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