You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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