Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
false alarm. still invincible.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
