I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Be still, my beating vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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