I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
