I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
