were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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