hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Randomize
