My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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