She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
