Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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