We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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